To me, character is
truly "That total which is greater than the sum of
its parts". It is a compendium of all sorts of
assets such as: honor, honesty, grace, humility,
patience, charm, politeness, (even, may I say it, gentlemen,
in many cases, Chivalry), selflessness, class........
I think you get the idea. But note that every one of the
above listed attributes very comfortably may wear the
word "personal" before them. There is no such
thing as "group patience" or "group
humility" or "group politeness". It is
always begun and rests upon the action of each
individual,whether they are in a group or alone.
I remember a girl named Elizabeth. She was my babysitter
on multitude occasions. I always wanted to be good for
Elizabeth. Not because she had my parent's permission to
punish me "in loco parentis" if I misbehaved,
but because she was so imbued with the above
characteristics that even a word of displeasure as to my
actions from her was sufficient to bring me close to
tears. And in that, allow me to assure you, I was not
alone among my peers. She was one incredible young lady.
I believe she was about thirteen when she began
babysitting me and continued as my parent's favorite
choice for about six years until she went to college. I
also know that there were so many parents in the
neighborhood clamoring for her services that they would
sometimes plan their schedule around hers just to have
her come and tend their children. And by the way, she was
the kid's first choice as well. But more than that,
growing up, I remember hearing from my peers that they
would or would not do a certain thing because, "Elizabeth
would or would not. " which settled the matter for
us.
A synonym might be "Personal Integrity". This
would also include keeping one's word irrespective of
personal inconveniece. There is one statement which,
throughout my life, I have treasured. That was the
statement by others that my word was my bond. That you
could "take my handshake to the bank." It is my
contention that if you cannot take a person at their
word, then all of the signed contracts and agreements in
the world are not going to cause them to do what they
have no intention of doing. And it starts with what is,
in legal terms, called "fraud in the inducement"
which is defined as "the entry into agreements or
negotiations knowing full well that one has absolutely no
intention of bargaining "in good faith" or
keeping their word, fulfilling the contract, from the
beginning." And why is this mentioned under"character"
instead of "honesty"? Because
so many consider honesty to be a word which is used
solely in financial matter s which it is most certainly
not. However, Personal Integrity is the
ruling interest in Character.
Is our obvious loss of morals really "a sign of
growth and maturation" as many claim? I don't think
so. I believe that the weakening of moral fiber which we
have all observed in various societies, not only in the
United States, is precisely the opposite. But perhaps it
is that those who claim that it is "maturation"
to overlook the tawdriness of many of the things which
occur in our current society and culture are merely
attempting to get rid of the high standard which Personal
Integrity implies because it is an inconvenience to them
in light of their involvement in those activities in
which they wish to engage. After all, let us review the
comments of those who are critical of anyone who has even
mediocre moral standards. They refer to them as "wearing
their tie too tight" or even "_ _ _ _ retentive".
Obviously then, the showing of any moral standards or
even the obvious retention of those standards by others a
round them bothers these people beyond the ability of
words to express it. It is not just that these want to
have us tolerate their abhorrent
behavior, they demand that we validate
such substandard and odious behavior. This is the only
way which these people can feel "comfortable"
with their lack of standards.
Is it not then our right to sit in judgment?
Notwithstanding the adage: "Judge not, lest ye be
judged by the same measure (and more harshly in my
experience)," not at all. I do not remember who it
was but someone is quoted as saying "Those
attributes which we least like in others may be those in
which we are most like them." I would challenge
anyone who loathes and detests a certain behavior or
attitude in others to first check and ascertain whether
they themselves are sometimes guilty of that behavior or
attitude.
I once heard a comedian claim (and humor, to be humor
must contain a grain of truth) regarding popular
publications, "First there was "LIFE"
magazine and that was all inclusive. Recently we have
seen "US" and then "SELF". I am
waiting for a magazine called "ME" which will
consist of a mirror between two covers.
So Character is not one thing, it is the collection and
culmination, the "sine qua non" of the makeup
of a person of genuine Class. It is
truly the totality which is greater than the sum of its
parts. Isn't this something for which people of
responsibility and integrity should strive?? The answer
to that I shall leave to the reader.
It is Elizabeth Love who is quoted as having said, "People
are like stained glass windows. They sparkle and shine
when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their
true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from
within".
vurdraak@pacbell.net
Opinion Piece # 6
MEANDERINGS
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