A policy is "Our shop is open from 7 to 5" or "We do not accept personal checks". Therefore, honesty, true honesty, cannot be cast as a "policy". It is a way of life. As an illustration, how many of us remember the adage, "His/her word is his/her bond. You can take their handshake to the bank"?  

Honesty is taught only by example.  One cannot, for instance, say to a child, "You must be honest in your dealings" without showing that child, by their own actions, what honesty is. Honesty is not something you "put on and take off at will". It is either an integral part of your being or it is a lie. 

This is not only true in, say, financial dealings, but what about when a child sees you being effusively nice or complimentary to someone in their face and then, when the person is no longer there, criticizing the person and indicating just how much you detest that person? The child is naturally going to latch on to the duplicity of your actions, concluding that it is the "easy route". It is the way to "get along". Not only is one to be honest in the presence of the child in this case, but even more, responsible for the child. We have seen myriad times in the news how parents will attempt to make excuses for the heinous acts of their children. But my question would be "are they excusing the acts of the child or attempting to cover their own failure in raising that child?"

You can't clean a floor with a dirty mop. No matter how long or hard you work at it. Would Mr. Webster (Noah, not Daniel) care to step in at this point with a definition of the word "hypocrite"?

The bigger problem with honesty is that one must also, and always, be "honest" with oneself. Honesty requires a certain amount of introspection. And a whole lot of self-discipline. One cannot be honest with others if they are not honest with themselves. But then isn't all of this obvious on its face?

There are those who believe, or at least will tell you, that honesty is a purely "religious" act, thereby attempting to provide themselves with an "easy out". It is not!! One can be honest without being religious, but can one be "faithful without being honest, especially since it is one of God's Commandments (as well as being set forth consistently in the doctrine of every religion of which I am aware) that we be honest in our dealings? With everyone? Always? Without exception? Irrespective of circumstances?

Honesty has nothing to do with the morals of the person with whom you are dealing, either. You are required to be responsible to others, however you can only be responsible for you and yours. If the person you are dealing with is dishonest in their dealings, that grants you no right to be dishonest with them. If you can't deal with them honestly, then don't deal with them at all.

Perhaps there are some readers who think that I am being too harsh. That there are times when one "bends" honesty. And certainly there are those times when one must be careful not to use "honesty" as a weapon. When they, either by tone or inflection, make it clear that honesty is not being used as a weapon, but in a sincere effort to assist or amend. Without that "just being honest" may be considered "brutal frankness". And brutal frankness is always an offensive weapon which does, as it is fully intended, cause psychological harm. It is not a kind gesture.

And those in authority. They have a special call to be honest in their dealings. Especially with those who are in their charge. Be they managers, or supervisors or bosses, or child care workers. All of the above goes double for them. The person may attempt to pass off some wrong action by saying "Well I am only human" and that is true. However, you were given that post of authority because someone, if they were doing their job correctly, considered that you would be able to handle the extra burden which the position places on them. And by the way, as you might suspect,  for the genuinely honest person, it is not a "burden" because that is just the way they are. It is imbued in their very bones.

In this time when world events are calling so many to re-evaluate their lives and actions, may we all just sort of sit down with ourselves and take stock.

vurdraak@pacbell.net

Opinion Piece # 5

CHARACTER IS WHAT YOU DO WHEN NO ONE'S LOOKIN'

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